


The Afterlife is Hell

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: The Afterlife is Hell [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU where Hux is Palpatine's grandson, Force Ghosts, M/M, the force is the afterlife and Anakin and Palpatine argue over who has the better grandkid, the skywalker family is a mess, this is somewhat of a gift??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>inspired by/for Fey_Child137 who wrote great comments on my other fic</p>
<p>Anakin and Palpatine argue over whose grandson is better. Anakin hates talking to Palpatine. Hux and Kylo struggle to live a domestic life while co-parenting a cat. Kylo is a bad cat-parent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Afterlife is Hell

**Author's Note:**

> hey there and welcome to the start of my new series The Afterlife is Hell ft. ghost Anakin's daily (after)life in the Afterlife.  
> Most of the dialogue is taken from the comments that Fey_Child137 left on my story Emperor Before Me and it's Gold so I had to write a fic.

**The Afterlife is Hell**

Anakin liked the afterlife, it was nice. He got to see all of his old friends, make amends with them, apologize for what he did as Darth Vader. He could see Obi-Wan and Padmé again, Ashoka too. And now he could even see his son-in-law who he didn't actually like very much but Han did have a good sense of humor. Padmé liked Han so Anakin tried not to let his intolerance show. For his wife, he told himself whenever he felt the urge to punch the smuggler who his daughter had been too good for.

The one thing he didn't like was the fact that Sheev Palpatine was also there. Anakin had thought that the afterlife was kind of split into two parts, the dark and light, and that Sith would be confined to the dark part to suffer. Apparently they could leave occasionally. And _occasionally_ the former Emperor would seek him out to talk to him. Well, more like seek him out to argue with him.

Their latest topic for argument was their grandsons. It turned out Palpatine had had an illegitimate daughter right after he became Chancellor (a story Anakin had never wanted to hear but he did). That daughter grew up and married into an imperial family by the arranged marriage between her and Brendol Hux. Then she had a son, Brendol Hux the Second, and now that son was the General of the First Order.

A General that worked side by side with Anakin's own grandson, Kylo Ren. And was only four years older than him. And apparently according to if what Palpatine was saying was true, was the current object of Kylo's affections. Since the old Sith Lord didn't actually have anything better to do he spent a lot of time watching over his own grandson and had been able to tell. Anakin wondered if he should start watching over Kylo more frequently as well. Maybe bring along Padmé to see what she thought about the whole thing. If Kylo really was in love with the ginger General then she would definitely be able to tell.

He wanted to confirm it before he went and told Han anything. He needed solid proof before he could make the smuggler feel what he felt about his kid being 'stolen away' by someone who was in no way good for them.

And now Anakin and Palpatine were once again arguing over whose grandson was better. It had been their main topic once the two living men had come into closer contact and could be easily compared.

Anakin wished Kylo had more strong points because he was running out of things to say. 

"Kylo is great! He's really powerful!"

Palpatine scoffed. Anakin was a bit put off that whenever Palpatine showed up he was in a younger version of himself. Considering Anakin was doing the same thing he supposed he couldn't really call that out. Although it was creepy when Palpatine would flicker back to his old Emperor self while they were talking, usually when the argument got heated.

"He may be powerful but where is that power? He never uses it. It doesn't count. Now look at mine and what he's done. Has yours created a super weapon that successfully destroyed five planets at once?"

"No. But-"

"Did yours graduate top of his class in an academy? Does he have any control of his own emotions like mine does? No."

"Shut up!!" Palpatine always brought up the fact that Kylo wasn't good at controlling his emotions. It was a bit embarrassing to watch sometimes. "Listen, Kylo has some good points too!"

Palpatine laughed, "Like what?"

Anakin didn't actually have anything and he struggled to think of something. "Um...my grandson is taller than yours? Yeah."

The unimpressed look Palpatine was giving him made Anakin feel uncomfortable. "How does height make someone better? And it's only by two inches, it's hardly noticeable at all."

"Shut up I'm trying! At least my grandson isn't some evil ginger space dictator!"

"I take offense to that, Skywalker. I'm a ginger, and I was once an evil space dictator."

"Listen I'm trying why are you even here anyways?"

Palpatine gave him another look. "Isn't it obvious?" He didn't wait for Anakin to respond. "I'm here because my grandson is better than yours. Alright?"

Anakin wanted to scream. Palpatine was always winning in these stupid arguments, he needed to come up with something good. He fumbled to shoot something back, "Well...well, my grandson ended up with the force and yours didn't!" That was possibly the best one he had ever thought of. "Kylo could crush your grandson."

The look Palpatine gave him now was a mixture of disbelief, confusion, disgust, and a sense of 'what the fuck you idiot'. "Um...? How? He doesn't have the will to crush my grandson." Fuck, Anakin had temporarily forgotten about that little fact that he still didn't really believe was true. "Anyways, the force decided that my grandson was good enough to not need the force's aid. Being force sensitive doesn't make you better if you aren't more powerful than someone without it."

"Fuck you, Palpatine."

"You can't handle the truth, Skywalker. Well, now that we've established that my grandson is better than your fool grandson Kylo, we can move on and watch over them."

-

Kylo Ren had the distinct feeling that he was being watched. It wasn't an uncommon feeling for him to have, but it was weird considering he was in Hux's quarters getting ready for bed. No one but Hux and his cat were in there, and unless someone had somehow gotten access to to the security cameras in the room, he shouldn't have the feeling. He tried to ignore the feeling and got onto the bed. Hux was already in it, scrolling through a datapad.

The feeling became too much so he voiced his distress. "Huuuux, I feel like we're being watched."

Hux didn't even look up, "It's probably just Millicent."

Kylo looked over to where the cat had settled down. Sure enough, she _was_ looking at them. He used the force to pull down Hux's greatcoat from where it was hanging and let it land on the cat. She gave a loud unhappy mewl.

"Ren!!" 

"That's better."

"Get out of my room."

Kylo turned to look at Hux, eyes wide, "But-"

"Get. Out." Kylo reluctantly got up. "If you're only going to harass Millicent then don't come in here."

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't excuse how you scared Millicent or all the wrinkles you've put in my coat."

**Author's Note:**

> Hux might love Kylo but he loves his cat far more


End file.
